Good men are good men. Boring men are boring. These are not interchangeable terms. If you listen to a lot of voices in today’s culture, you might believe otherwise. But look closer. Observe good men. They’re reliable, trustworthy. They do the right thing for the right reason. There’s a big difference between that and boring.
I know many good men who are fascinating. They race motorcycles on weekends; they field scorching ground balls in a softball league; they create things with their own hands. They work hard and play hard, doing things that take courage and strength. Best of all, they care for the ones they love, oftentimes putting others’ needs before their own. That alone is fascinating to me.
So why does this stereotype exist? Why was there a time when my girlfriends and I talked about the fear of marrying a good guy because we thought he might be boring? (Yes, I admit it. I was part of that conversation.)
Here’s one big reason: narcissistic men sell product and pull us into the theater. That’s the guy portrayed on the commercials and idolized in the movies. He’s exciting, he’s daring. His narcissism receives our approval because he’s good-looking, works for the good guys, drives the right car, and gets the girl without even trying.
But that kind of self-centeredness gets old fast. The man we really want and need in our lives is a good guy who’s interesting. Apparently that fact isn’t lost on advertisers. Recent ad campaigns, particularly from car companies, have begun to feature good men in their commercials. Have a look at these on YouTube:
My Bold Dad | Presented by The Bold New Camry | Toyota
Nissan 2015 Super Bowl Commercial | “With Dad”
Amy Purdy and Her Bold Dad | Presented by The Bold New Camry | Toyota
I’m encouraged by these ads. They show interesting men being good men—real men who care for others, not just themselves.
I think it’s time we stopped portraying good men as a little low on the excitement scale. It’s time we destroyed the stereotype of the boring good guy and replaced it with reality. Good guys can be very interesting men… complex, others’ centered, passionate, and courageous. Good men are not boring. Boring men are boring.